How to find your valentine

Probably some of the biggest decisions most of us will make during the "decade of decisions" involve who we will date and who we will marry. Elder Lund, a prominent  *leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and his wife gave a talk about this important topic.

                        

    Sister Lund starts it off by wishing us a happy Valentines Day through the scripture John 3:16. Did you know that you can find all the letters of the word "valentine" in this scripture? "For God so loVed the world, that he gAve his onLy begottEn soN, that whosoever believeTh in hIm should Not perish, but have everlasting lifE."

This fun way of saying happy Valentine's Day illustrates the importance of keeping Christ in our relationships. Sister Lund explained that through all of our dating and marriage, the only way to be truly happy is through Christ. As we strive to follow the Savior we can be spiritually prepared for the important decisions we need to make.

She went on to explain that finding relationships founded on gospel principles is vital. We have to be equally "yoked" in our relationships. If we can find someone that will work hard with us and shoulder burdens with us then we will be okay. She advises us to keep our focus on others and we will be happier. She counseled to always live for the eternal things that matter most and never do anything we will regret. Save the sacred things for the person that matters most. 

Elder Lund started his presentation off by describing the two groups in which most of us could find ourselves. Even though we are all different and need specific things, we can try to see ourselves in one of these two groups. 

Group #1. Marriage is their highest priority. They are actively seeking to become a better person, but not finding much success in the dating world.

Group #2. They prioritize things above marriage. They don't feel ready. They are sick of their mom encouraging them to get married. They feel the timing is off to have a serious relationship.

Can you see yourself in one of these categories?

For those in group 1 Elder Lund gives this simple yet profound advice:

-Do what you can do. 

-Keep going. 

-Be ready to do hard things to become the person you need to be. 

-Don't worry.

-Remember that when you are doing your best and staying faithful, you will never be denied the blessings of our Heavenly Father, whether they come in this life or the next. 

For those in group 2, Elder Lund goes a bit more in to detail. He invites us to change our mindset. He talks about how the world is becoming increasingly more anti-family. Voices constantly tell us, "Don't get tied down. Don't get married too young. Go see the world. Get some financial security." He reminds us that Satan hates families because families are central to the Plan of Salvation. Satan is picking away at the concept of families little by little. Elder Lund counsels that when anything is placed before marriage we must remember where that influence comes from. He says, "You are not a complete organism until you have a spouse. You are walking through life in black and white. When you start a family, you begin to see the world in color." 

Elder Lund goes on to advise us not to settle with a "good marriage," but really invest in it and do what we need to do to have a great marriage.

He reminds us that it's not all about just making the right choice in a spouse. It's true that we need to be sure our priorities are the same, but no matter what you do, you are going to have conflicts in your marriage. He says, "You are going to find differences between you and your spouse, but those differences are what is going to sanctify you." Its not all about choice, it's about conflict resolution. As we work though those conflicts together, we become more like the Savior together. We don't need to be afraid of conflict. There can still be love and joy and happiness and goodness, even amidst conflict, when we keep Christ at the center of our lives. Yes,  somethings are non-negotiable, like covenants, but everything else is workable. It's okay to have differences on the things that don't really matter. Elder Lund counsels us to focus on the things that really matter.

He closes with a powerful testimony by simply saying, "Families matter."

He testifies that when God's power is in the middle of your family you will receive all His promised blessings. He proclaims that, "You are not going to find a perfect spouse, because you haven't made him/her that way yet."

He bears witness that the family brings greater joy than anything the world can bring and he exhorts us to be engaged in this effort because if we are, our lives will be blessed no matter what happens.

I was really happy to have been able to learn from one of Christ's special witnesses on this very important topic. For those of you that were able to attend, please comment with your insights and testimony. We can stand as witnesses that even though world may be trying to tell us otherwise, the family truly is ordained of God and is the center of His plan of happiness.

*Elder Lund is called by the Savior as a member of the Quorum of the Seventy. To learn more about his calling follow this link: 

http://www.lds.org/church/leaders/quorums-of-the-seventy?lang=eng